I can’t believe we are ending week four of lockdown and that it is likely there will be another month or so of it. I’ve accepted that it is likely that it will take a year before we are able to do everything we once could. I’m not saying I am happy about that, but I will accept what I can’t change.
I was looking for a photo for a post there and found myself looking through photos of really simple days that I would be delighted to have again. Being at the beach with friends, being at my sister’s house, watching movies with my mum, going to see a show with friends, yoga on the beach, writing, sleeping, picnicking on the beach, going to a wedding, Qi Gong in my friend’s garden. I took all of these things for granted. I am looking at them with a different perspective. What a truly wonderful life. My life is still a very privileged one compared to many others and it is still wonderful, but it would be so much more enriched if I could be in person with some people.
As always, I am looking for the lessons. They are always there. I know that I will be able to do these things again sometime, but I have to be patient and let go of trying to figure out when. I am not a fan of following the rules, but I have to accept they are for the greater good right now, so I do. I like to be busy and productive, but I still need to carve out time to relax and go slow. No matter the circumstances, I will always need to make an effort to give writing more priority. To keep up, I must adapt quickly. I have to let go of how I think things should be and embrace how they are if I can’t change them. If I don’t like how they are, and I can change them, I have to take action to change my mindset and then my circumstances. I do need people and they can be a great support. I am so grateful for all of the people who are supporting me and who have offered help.
I am learning that I value being around people way more than I thought I did. I love being on my own and always schedule time when I can be on my own for at least a full day a week. Being around people can be hard work. That won’t change when I can see them again. At the same time, I am trying to remember that I can be very nostalgic about things. No one is perfect, but it is part of being human and there is something of value missing from it right now.
So I am looking back and treasuring these memories, noticing the smiles, the sparkles, the sun, the joy. It really is like looking back on another time, another life, a before. I vow to notice all of these moments when I can experience them again – in real time. In the meantime, I will continue to express how grateful I am to live such a rich life. I vow to hug you all big time when I see you. I can’t promise I won’t cry.
Before…
Now…
I am looking at all of the things I can appreciate right now, quiet, time, nature, reflection, opportunities, friendship, digital connectivity.
After…
Blank…
But grateful
For my yoga classes in Ayrshire and online - go to www.vhairislavenyoga.com/book.